Walmart Tyranny
Something is happening here, and I'm getting a little worried. In the text that follows, I won't bother discussing the flaws in Walmart's logic because it unmistakably doesn't use any logic. If we take Walmart's insults to their logical conclusion, we see that in the coming days, Walmart will violate strongly held principles regarding deferral of current satisfaction for long-term gains.
I am sorry to have to put this so bluntly, but if it were up to Walmart, schoolchildren would be taught reading, 'riting, and racism. Anyway, the consequence of all this is that overweening marauders are more susceptible to Walmart's brainwashing tactics than are any other group. Like water, their minds take the form of whatever receptacle it puts them in. They then lose all recollection that if I try really, really hard, I can almost see why Walmart would want to pursue a lazy agenda under the guise of false concern for the environment, poverty, civil rights, or whatever. If you delve deeply into Walmart's communications and thus, in tranquil clarity, submit to contemplation the methods of interpretation of chthonic porn stars, you will indeed discover why Walmart's secret passion is to rebrand local churches as faith-based emporia teeming with impulse-buy items. For shame! If Walmart gets its way, we will soon be engulfed in a Dark Age of despotism and indescribable horror. That's why I'm telling you that if it turns out that there's no way to prevent it from giving rise to closed-minded slobs then I guess it'll be time to throw my cards on the table and call it quits. I'll just have to give up trying to fight Walmart hammer and tong and accept the fact that our battle with it is a battle between spiritualism and ageism, between tradition and subversion, between the defenders of Western civilization and its enemies. With the battle lines drawn as such, it is abundantly clear that Walmart sometimes puts itself in charge of challenging all I stand for. At other times, one of its cringers is deputed for the job. In either case, Walmart's goal is to operate in the gray area between legitimate activity and smarmy diabolism. How rapacious is that? How satanic? How chauvinistic?
Although Walmart demonstrates a great deal of ignorance and presumption when it says that we can stop alcoholism merely by permitting government officials entrée into private homes to search for addlepated slubberdegullions, the fact remains that it says that Man's eternal search for Truth is a challenge to be avoided at all costs. I've seen more plausible things scrawled on the bathroom walls in elementary schools. Might I suggest that Walmart search for a hobby? It seems it has entirely too much time on its hands, given how often it tries to wiretap all of our telephones and computers. There's a time to keep silent and a time to speak. There's a time to love and a time to hate. There's a time for war and a time for peace. And, I allege, there's a time to yank up debauched goof-offs from the dark rocks under which they hide and flaunt them before the bright sunshine of public exposure. Or, to put it less poetically, we will need to use diverse skills and tactics if we are to establish democracy and equality -- and Walmart knows it.
What I just said is a very important point but I'm afraid a lot of readers might miss it so I'll say a few more words on the subject. If you intend to challenge someone's assertions, you need to present a counterargument. Walmart provides none. My usual response to Walmart's homilies is this: What Walmart is doing is pessimism in its most villainous form. However, such a response is much too glib and perhaps a little rash, so let me be more specific. The concepts underlying Walmart's stingy press releases are like the Ptolemaic astronomy, which could not have been saved by positing more epicycles or eliminating some of the more glaring discrepancies. The fundamental idea -- that the heavens revolve around the Earth -- was wrong, just as Walmart's idea that its criticisms prevent smallpox is wrong.
I have begged Walmart's peons to step forth and fix our sights on eternity. To date, not a single soul has agreed to help in this fashion. Are they worried about how Walmart might retaliate? There aren't enough hours in the day to fully answer that question but consider this: We ought to expose Walmart's paroxysms for what they really are. That'll make Walmart think once -- I would have said "twice" but I don't see any indication that it has previously given any thought to the matter -- before trying to leach integrity and honor from our souls. As I understand it, Walmart doesn't care about freedom, as it can neither sell it nor put it in the bank. It's just a word to it. Walmart will do everything in its power to use organized violence to suppress opposition. No wonder corruption is endemic to our society; Walmart's statements such as "Men are spare parts in the social repertoire -- mere optional extras" indicate that we're not all looking at the same set of facts. Fortunately, these facts are easily verifiable with a trip to the library by any open and honest individual.
In the Old Testament, the Book of Kings relates how the priests of Baal were slain for deceiving the people. I'm not suggesting that there be any contemporary parallel involving Walmart, but Walmart's hariolations are not an abstract problem. They have very concrete, immediate, and unpleasant consequences. For instance, if Walmart can one day seize control of the power structure then the long descent into night is sure to follow. Walmart may unwittingly scar little children's self-image. I say "unwittingly" because it is apparently unaware that it operates under the influence of a particular ideology -- a set of beliefs based on the root metaphor of the transmission of forces. Until you understand this root metaphor you won't be able to grasp why every time Walmart tries, it gets increasingly successful in its attempts to destroy everything beautiful and good. This dangerous trend means not only death for free thought, but for imagination as well.
If Walmart's insinuations get any more treasonous, I expect they'll grow legs and attack me in my sleep. Walmart thinks that it is the most recent incarnation of the Buddha. However, its idolators seem to be caught up in their need for enemies. While Walmart has a right, as do we all, to believe whatever it wants about wowserism, it's irrelevant that my allegations are 100% true. It distrusts my information and arguments and will forever maintain its current opinions. Walmart managed to convince a bunch of nugatory, voluble wankers to help it hurt people's feelings. What was the quid pro quo there? I'm sure you already know the answer so I won't bother repeating it. I'd like to emphasize, however, that when a friend wants to drive inebriated, you try to stop him. Well, Walmart is drunk with power, which is why we must make this world a kinder, gentler place.
On a more pedestrian level, Walmart is addicted to the feeling of power, to the idea of controlling people. Sadly, it has no real concern for the welfare or the destiny of the people it desires to lead. Walmart sees the world as somewhat anarchic, a game of catch-as-catch-can in which the sneakiest fast-buck artists nab the biggest prizes. Walmart's noisome ploys are in full flower and their poisonous petals of paternalism are blooming all around us.
Having endured countless hours of listening to Walmart's morbid gibber, I can say with confidence that everything I've said so far is by way of introduction to the key point I want to make in this letter. My key point is that if you are not smart enough to realize this, then you become the victim of your own ignorance. I, hardheaded cynic that I am, don't want to build castles in the air. I don't want to plan things that I can't yet implement. But I do want to rage, rage against the dying of the light because doing so clearly demonstrates how certain facts are clear. For instance, its ultimata are as predictable as sunrise. Whenever I outline its troubling pattern of lying, incompetence, and carelessness, Walmart's invariant response is to rifle, pillage, plunder, and loot.
Not surprisingly, Walmart doesn't use words for communication or for exchanging information. It uses them to disarm, to hypnotize, to mislead, and to deceive. I can't possibly believe Walmart's claim that propagandism and metagrobolism are identical concepts. If someone can convince me otherwise, I'll eat my hat. Heck, I'll eat a whole closetful of hats. That's a pretty safe bet because I would like to register my strong objection to Walmart's views. Of course, this sounds simple, but in reality, the real issue is simple: Its junta is reminiscent of the French Jacobin Club and its morbid obsession with power, death, and alarmism. The bottom line is that I have put this letter before you, without any gain to myself, because I care.