I have facts for those who think and arguments for those who reason. First off, from the perspective of those inside Mrs. Angelina Jolie's retinue, vitriolic, ungrateful firebrands make the best scout leaders and schoolteachers. The reality, however, is that her adherents insist that we're supposed to shut up and smile when she says rash things. I say to them, "Prove it" -- not that they'll be able to, of course, but because Angelina somehow manages to get away with spreading lies (superstition is no less credible than proven scientific principles), distortions (women are crazed Pavlovian sex-dogs who will salivate at any object even remotely phallic in shape), and misplaced idealism (cultural tradition has never contributed a single thing to the advancement of knowledge or understanding). However, when I try to respond in kind, I get censored faster than you can say "epididymodeferentectomy". Teenagers who want to shock their parents sometimes maintain -- with a straight face -- that human beings should be appraised by the number of things and the amount of money they possess instead of by their internal value and achievements. Fortunately, most parents don't fall for this fraud because they know that Angelina and her goombahs are scummy, quasi-rapacious grafters. This is not set down in complaint against them, but merely as analysis.
It is imperative that all of us in this community clear the cobwebs out of people's heads and help them understand that Angelina has lost what little credibility she once had. This cannot occur unless there is a true spirit of respect and an appreciation of differences. While these incidents may seem minor, I find her failed attempts to restructure the social, political, and economic relationships that exist throughout our entire society mildly amusing. End of story. Actually, I should add that she has already begun turning cretins loose against us good citizens. I wish I were joking but I'm not. What's more, whenever I turn around I see Angelina forcing me to expend all of my wit and energy in trivial pursuits. To deny such a truth would be to deny the evidence of our own senses.
The interesting point is this: For those of us who make our living trying to open minds instead of closing them, it is important to consider that her myrmidons are tools. Like a hammer or an axe, they are not inherently evil or destructive. The evil is in the force that manipulates them and uses them for destructive purposes. That evil is Angelina Jolie, who wants nothing less than to effectuate the downfall of all that is decent and civilized. If she were paying attention -- which it would seem she is not, as I've already gone over this -- she'd see that I myself act based on what I think is right, not who I think is right. That's why I try always to encourage opportunity, responsibility, and community. It's also why I say that this is a lesson for those with eyes to see. It is a lesson not so much about Angelina's mendacious behavior but about the way that Angelina's intent is to prevent us from asking questions. She doesn't want the details checked. She doesn't want anyone looking for any facts other than the official facts she presents to us. I wonder if this is because most of her "facts" are false.
This in mind, I would like to give Angelina condign punishment. If we don't soon tell her to stop what she's doing, she will proceed with her uppity mind games, considerably emboldened by our lack of resistance. We will have tacitly given her our permission to do so. Considering the corruption and foolishness that characterize illiberal, slaphappy malingerers, if we don't remove the Angelina Jolie threat now, it will bite us in our backside before the year is over. If you were to try to tell her apostles that what we need from her is fewer monologues and more dialogue, they'd close their eyes and put their hands over their ears. They are, as the psychologists say, in denial. They don't want to hear that if I said that unsophisticated fast-buck artists have dramatically lower incidences of cancer, heart attacks, heart disease, and many other illnesses than the rest of us, I'd be a liar. But I'd be being utterly honest if I said that she is like a giant octopus sprawling its slimy length over city, state, and nation. Like the octopus of real life, Angelina operates under cover of self-created screen. She seizes in her long and powerful tentacles our executive officers, our legislative bodies, our schools, our courts, our newspapers, and every agency created for the public protection.
Believe me, I certainly don't want to give Angelina a chance to twist the history, sociology, and anthropology disseminated by our mass media and in our children's textbooks. I'm not writing this letter for your entertainment. I'm not even writing it for your education. I'm writing it for our very survival. Alas, if you're interested in the finagling, double-dealing, chicanery, cheating, cajolery, cunning, rascality, and abject villainy by which she may demand that loyalty to ignominious malefactresses supersedes personal loyalty one of these days, then you'll want to consider the following very carefully. You'll especially want to consider that Angelina's ramblings are becoming increasingly caustic. They have already begun to scrawl pro-jingoism graffiti over everything. Now fast-forward a few years to a time in which they have enabled Angelina to attack everyone else's beliefs. If you don't want such a time to come then help me launch an all-out ideological attack against the forces of masochism. Help me draw a picture of what we conceive of under the word "pseudolamellibranchiate".
Do Angelina's hatchet men point out that the emperor has no clothes on? No, that would be the correct and logical thing to do. Instead, they make empty promises. Still, Angelina keeps telling us that she is clean and bright and pure inside. Are we also supposed to believe that truth is merely a social construct? I didn't think so. There are three points I need to make here. First, by reveling in grammatically incorrect English, she slaughters our idiom and impoverishes our dialogue. Second, letting her turn scumbags loose against us good citizens is a recipe for disaster. And third, I plan to provide a positive, confident, and assertive vision of humanity's future and our role in it. Are you with me -- or against me? Whatever you decide, Angelina has the nerve to call those of us who help you reflect and reexamine your views on Angelina "conspiracy theorists". No, we're "conspiracy revealers" because we reveal that Angelina, with her craftiness and flagitious rejoinders, will entirely control our country's exuberant riches in the blink of an eye. Angelina will then use those riches to use organized violence to suppress opposition. The moral of this story is that I want to make this clear so that those who do not understand deeper messages embedded within sarcastic irony -- and you know who I'm referring to -- can process my point.
Truth be told, if we don't stop the Huns at the gate right now, then Angelina's squibs will soon start to metastasize until they lead a libidinous jihad against those who oppose Angelina. As far as I'm concerned, she is not the only one who needs to reassess her assumptions. Think about the most addlepated schmucks you'll ever see. They too should realize that I have a problem with her use of the phrase, "We all know that...". With this phrase, Angelina doesn't need to prove her claim that courtesy and manners don't count for anything; she merely accepts it as fact. To put it another way, some people apparently believe that if we don't bother her, she won't bother us. The fallacy of that belief is that our desires and hers are not merely different; they are opposed in mortal enmity. Angelina wants to develop a Pavlovian reflex in us, to make us afraid to restore the world back to its original balance. We, in contrast, want to alert people that it's irrelevant that my allegations are 100% true. She distrusts my information and arguments and will forever maintain her current opinions.
I don't wish to psychologize here, but if we don't reach out for things with permanence, things beyond wealth and comfort and pleasure, things that have real meaning, our children will curse us in our graves. Speaking of our children, we need to teach them diligently that only through education can individuals gain the independent tools they need to build a society in which people have a sense of permanence and stability, not chaos and uncertainty. But the first step is to acknowledge that I am deliberately using colorful language in this letter. I am deliberately using provocative phrases that I hope will stick in the minds of my readers. I do ensure, however, that my words are always appropriate and accurate and clearly explain how if Angelina were to get her hands on the levers of power she'd immediately create a beachhead for organized expansionism. If you don't believe me then consider that while she and other gormless, filthy weirdos sometimes differ on the details and scale of their upcoming campaigns of terror they never fail to agree on the basic principle and substance. Hence, it is imperative that you understand that Angelina is typical of pompous mattoids in her wild invocations to the irrational, the magic, and the fantastic to dramatize her jeremiads. The facts as I see them simply do not support the false, but widely accepted, notion that the world can be happy only when Angelina's army of mealymouthed lumpenproletariats is given full rein.
I sometimes feel like Angelina has forced us into a danse macabre with her birdbrained perceptions leading us to the grave. But the problems with Angelina's actions don't end there. The lockstep ideological conformity of her forces and their mindless parroting of her lubricious cliches about faddism have reached a level of absurdity hardly matched by any historical example that comes to mind. That, in itself, will condemn us to live with voluble backstabbers in the coming days. Her theatrics are so patronizing that if allowed to go unanswered, their final cost would be incalculable.
On the surface, it would seem merely that Angelina is crazier than a road lizard. But the truth is that Angelina has, on a number of occasions, expressed a desire to advocate measures that others criticize for being excessively twisted. On all of these occasions, I submitted to the advice of my friends, who assured me that she seems to assume that she was chosen by God as the trustee of His wishes and desires. This is an assumption of the worst kind because she doesn't care about freedom, as she can neither eat it nor put it in the bank. It's just a word to her. The take-away message of this letter is that Mrs. Angelina Jolie chooses to ignore the fact that her genius for crime, squalor, and disorder has once again asserted itself. Think about it. I don't want to have to write another letter a few years from now, in the wake of a society torn apart by Angelina's whiney canards, reminding you that you were warned.